Author's Notes: Some of the pictures went back when Oliver was still alive, this I believe was because I was starting over. Things will be different after this point.
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Life was pretty crazy after what seem like days but the nightmares of what could of happen to my love was hanging in my head. It was only a dream. It was only a dream. That what I told myself but it seem no matter how hard I tried, something will happen.
I notice while I was thinking about things that there was a young man jogging in our neighborhood. He seem really nice and seem to know what he was doing in his life. I would talk to him but my mind was else where.
He wasn't bad looking but he wasn't really my type. I mean, I can say that in a nice way. I not saying looks are everything but sometimes they are.
It seem like only yesterday I was standing like this. The day we moved in. I just started my job at the
business office. The office space was really nice and I very much enjoyed it. It had a homely feeling to it but still business like to keep you going.
Oliver and I gave each other hugs. I was happy to see him as I was really enjoyed being with him. The wedding was lovely with my sister seeing it. So far we were trying to make things work.
He warm my heart every time he hugged me. Work was keeping us busy but that didn't stop us from enjoy each other company. Seagreen Rose was still working on painting. That didn't change.
It didn't take long for him to get romantic with me. I felt it every time he kissed me. The feeling he gave when you miss someone. He always seem to know how to make me feel.
Seagreen Rose was working on something on the family computer. She wanted to keep herself busy besides always painting pictures.
She started to talk to the guys we meant early in the day. His name was Alejandro Swanson but we decided to just call him Al. He seem to keep himself active and most of the day he would be outside jogging. Seagreen Rose started to have feelings for him and wanted to get to know him better.
Meanwhile it didn't take long for Oliver and I to have fun. We were wanting to start a family since that nightmare of mine seem to haunt me. I still worried it would happen again but I found away to not think about it.
Seagreen Rose was on the call to Al. He seem to be interested in talking to her as well. The two of them were starting be close friends. She wanted to be friends with him. She wasn't really pushing for a relationship just yet but it seem to me that she started to like him.
I found her starting to text him too. I wanted to ask her about him but didn't want to push it just yet. She seem really happy, which in turn made me happy too.
After spending a few hours talking to him on the phone and texting him, she went on reading a book. She wanted to keep herself busy without dealing with too much. She wear the dress the night we got married. I still think she looks really pretty.
Oliver was working out for a while. He wanted to get himself ready since he would be going to work soon. The night was cool but it doesn't seem to bother him. He ran around a few times feeling pretty good after his run.
Seagreen Rose started to talk to him about how things were going at his job. He told her that he was doing alright and happy to spend time with both of us. He was always so caring about that.
They gave each other hugs as it was something our family was all about. We love giving each other hugs since it showed we cared. I was happy that Oliver and Seagreen Rose were starting to become friends.
Seagreen Rose was having a late dinner, it seem like a normal thing that everyone does now and days. We try our best to eat together but we are all so busy with different things. Oliver and I stay busy with work. Rose stay busy with taking care of the house, plus painting.
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The next day I came home from work, feeling pretty tired and working super hard. Work wasn't easy but I am slowly liking the idea of the job.
I love coming home. The house made me feel so nice at times. The day seem to be going so well and I am enjoying life for the most part.
Just as I thought my day was going well, that sound again. Why do I hear that sound? We know what happen. That feeling you get when your nightmare is coming to life.
I tried to ignore it but sadly I coudn't. There he was laying there. Just barely got home from work and now, he is gone. I started to cry. I cried to most that I couldn't control myself.
Seagreen Rose fix the tea pot, she heard what was going on. It was hard not to feel sad on day like today. The nightmare you wish never have come.
I stood there in shocked again. Grim Reaper just staring away from me. He was not saying much nor did I feel like speaking to him. He knew that I had these dreams before and now it came. I wish I could of stop him but I didn't.
The house was a mess and thanks to Seagreen Rose, she cleaned it up. I didn't feel like cleaning, the room made me feel like how I was feeling. I was pregnant and alone. Pregnant by the man I loved but now he will never coming back. Life goes on and so will my brokenness.
I was starting to feel worse about myself and called the sadness hotline again. This time I felt a little better but not enough to say that the feeling won't go away.
I was feeling weird and started to hit on Grim Reaper but slowly stop myself after talking to him for a bit. I didn't want to be close to death. No thank you. I know that Death had other things to do and that was not me wanting him. I was feeling stupid at this point because my love was gone. Grim Reaper could tell and showed no interested in me. He soon left after that to find other spirits that needed his help.
After that I decided that I would try my best to take care of myself. It was hard and I felt like I was going through more nightmares than I ever wanted. I didn't work as I was now getting closer to have my baby or babies.
I was ready to have this baby or babies. My belly was getting bigger and I was feeling moody by the minute.
There was a knock at my door and a young man named Johnny Zest was there. I started to talk to him soon after my love died. He seem to be a very sweet and caring man. I didn't mean getting to know him better.
Seagreen Rose was feeling low and sad about Oliver being gone. They just became friends and was getting along so nicely. She was putting the dishes away and trying to keep herself busy. I know it was hard for both of us since I couldn't stop thinking about how much Oliver meant to me.
All I could do was cry. Cry and more crying. The last two months were like living through more nightmares. I couldn't sleep, didn't want to eat and felt the lowest point in my life. My sister kept pushing me and telling me things would get better. I wanted to believe her but all I could do was hope this day would go away.
I know my baby or babies would come and that everything would be different. To know that my baby or babies won't have a father made me cry. I am ready to let things go. I told myself that it was time to try to get better. Try to move on the best I could.
That what I did. I moved on and kept my heart cold. I may be with other people but my heart belongs to Oliver. That is where it will stay and that will never change.
