Flashback
Dear Journal,
Here are the thoughts and feeling of the wedding night before our lives would change forever. May seem like everything is going backwards than forwards but I am happy for the most part. Even though deep down inside I hated myself for pushing him or feeling like I was the reason he was doing it all. I guess I can only blame myself but try my best to move on in life.
The feeling of our wedding night seem to be hanging in my thoughts, like a very bad nightmare but looking back on it, I shouldn't of felt that way. This was what my heart and thoughts were saying the night of our wedding day.
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Our wedding night was special no matter how hard we try to make it not. Oliver had told me a few times before our lives would change forever that he always wanted to be married here. I never really understand why he wanted to be married right here. I remember as kids we would never think of living here nor even thinking about getting married. Still life changed and we go older. The older we are the more we understand what truly mattered. What mattered most was that we were together and finally having life go the way we wanted it too.
The air was cool and fresh when we got to the tree. Oliver had made sure things were set up right before the big day. How he had time to do that was beyond me. I was happy that we were together for a short bit. Seagreen Rose was getting ready for our day and everything seem to be just right. Just the way I liked it. To be honest with you all I never wanted a big fancy wedding. I know if my parents were here, they would tell me I was crazy. That they would want everyone and anyone to come. I myself just wanted it to be with the loves I love. I didn't know a lot of people and even if I did, I didn't want everyone to come.
Seagreen Rose finally came when the moment was right. She looked so pretty in her dress. She kept it safe for this very moment. I truly glad she came for our wedding day. Even if she herself felt a little weird about it at times. I know my sister is sweet and caring. I hope someday she will find someone who truly loved her for her.
She looked at the beauty of the tree and was in aw by how it looked. I told her about us wanting to be married here. She was not surprise since it was a very pretty tree.
We decided it was time to start getting the wedding thing going. We didn't want the whole night sharing at each other. Even though I have to say I won't mind looking at the love of my life forever. He cleared his throat and asked if we were ready to start. I nodded yes and we started to tell each other things that I couldn't remember all that well. I was in the moment being with the ones I loved the most.
He held my hands and looked into my eyes and said, "My beloved Betty Boop, for the moment I laid eyes on you. I knew in my heart of hearts you were the one for me. You made me life when I felt crappy. You brighten the sky when I felt gray. I know you were there for me when I needed you the most. Even when I felt unsure at times. Your beauty out weight everything for you truly cared for me and me alone. With that being said you are my one and only. I love you always."
I wanted to cry and I wanted to just scream. I wanted the world to know how much I loved this man. This amazing man. I calm myself when I stared at him and said to him," My beloved Oliver, you came into my life when darkness seem to come. My world was crushed when my parents died but yet you were there for me. I know that others would just look and want nothing more than my body but yet here we are. The two of us now, the ones that mattered most. I wanted you above all others as you took care of me when others couldn't. Thank you for being my best friend and the one I love for always and forever."