Monday, December 4, 2017

Chapter 3: Flashback

Flashback 

 Dear Journal,

Here are the thoughts and feeling of the wedding night before our lives would change forever. May seem like everything is going backwards than forwards but I am happy for the most part. Even though deep down inside I hated myself for pushing him or feeling like I was the reason he was doing it all. I guess I can only blame myself but try my best to move on in life. 

The feeling of our wedding night seem to be hanging in my thoughts, like a very bad nightmare but looking back on it, I shouldn't of felt that way. This was what my heart and thoughts were saying the night of our wedding day. 

_____

Our wedding night was special no matter how hard we try to make it not. Oliver had told me a few times before our lives would change forever that he always wanted to be married here. I never really understand why he wanted to be married right here. I remember as kids we would never think of living here nor even thinking about getting married. Still life changed and we go older. The older we are the more we understand what truly mattered. What mattered most was that we were together and finally having life go the way we wanted it too.

The air was cool and fresh when we got to the tree. Oliver had made sure things were set up right before the big day. How he had time to do that was beyond me. I was happy that we were together for a short bit. Seagreen Rose was getting ready for our day and everything seem to be just right. Just the way I liked it. To be honest with you all I never wanted a big fancy wedding. I know if my parents were here, they would tell me I was crazy. That they would want everyone and anyone to come. I myself just wanted it to be with the loves I love. I didn't know a lot of people and even if I did, I didn't want everyone to come. 

Seagreen Rose finally came when the moment was right. She looked so pretty in her dress. She kept it safe for this very moment. I truly glad she came for our wedding day. Even if she herself felt a little weird about it at times. I know my sister is sweet and caring. I hope someday she will find someone who truly loved her for her. 

She looked at the beauty of the tree and was in aw by how it looked. I told her about us wanting to be married here. She was not surprise since it was a very pretty tree. 


We decided it was time to start getting the wedding thing going. We didn't want the whole night sharing at each other. Even though I have to say I won't mind looking at the love of my life forever. He cleared his throat and asked if we were ready to start. I nodded yes and we started to tell each other things that I couldn't remember all that well. I was in the moment being with the ones I loved the most.


 He held my hands and looked into my eyes and said, "My beloved Betty Boop, for the moment I laid eyes on you. I knew in my heart of hearts you were the one for me. You made me life when I felt crappy. You brighten the sky when I felt gray. I know you were there for me when I needed you the most. Even when I felt unsure at times. Your beauty out weight everything for you truly cared for me and me alone. With that being said you are my one and only. I love you always."

I wanted to cry and I wanted to just scream. I wanted the world to know how much I loved this man. This amazing man. I calm myself when I stared at him and said to him," My beloved Oliver, you came into my life when darkness seem to come. My world was crushed when my parents died but yet you were there for me. I know that others would just look and want nothing more than my body but yet here we are. The two of us now, the ones that mattered most. I wanted you above all others as you took care of me when others couldn't. Thank you for being my best friend and the one I love for always and forever."




We gazed at each other for a while longer giggling with every words we spoke. Seagreen Rose was holding back tears. She was happy for us and wanted to do her best to not feel odd. She never the odd one in our family. She cared so much about how we were feeling and doing that she didn't seem to care about taking care of herself. I truly grateful for a sister like that but I hope she wouldn't worry so much. 

After that we gave each other kisses and felt like the world was slowing down a bit. This was something I never felt before. I know my parents told us about their wedding day and how special it made them feel. I can see why. Being with the ones you loved seem to do that to you. 

 

After our wonderful speech we gave each other, we decided to finally give each other the rings. Saying sweet nothings to each other only us to hear. Which we would look at the rings with wonder. They were very pretty rings picked out by Oliver and having a few words of myself of how they would look. 

 
 

Than it was set and we were now husband and wife. The moment of joy filled the night sky with gladness. I could hear my sister cheer with happiness. I smiled as Oliver and I had our first kiss being a married couple now. 

Seagreen Rose looked at us with happiness as she say our big kiss being married. She was so pretty and happy for us. I know someday when her time comes, it will be just as special as well. 

 After getting married to Oliver I took this moment to give my sister a hug. She hugged my back tight and told me that she was really happy for us both. She couldn't wait for what the future will hold. I was hoping the future won't come for even though this night was special...there was more to come sooner than we thought. 



It was hard to move to walk for the moment I turned around I saw him looking at the tree. This would be the last few moments, the last few days until...until....well until things became a living nightmare and my life would not be the same. The happiness, the love and the meaning of life seem to fade. The light of my life gone before it could begin. 

We started walking back to the home and getting our pictures taken from Rose. Rose herself felt that this night was one of those special times. The times in our lives that would last forever. I write to you today Journal as I slowly close the chapter of this book. I feel like my life will never be the same. Only a few moments until it is gone but for a moment, I want to stay and stay here forever. I never want to leave. I never want to move forward but life goes on and I am here now. 

Here in my dark lonely heart to see that life will never be the same and I will have to face reality all by myself. Even with my sister, Rose it still going to take sometime to heal. To heal or never truly heal. We have to wait and see. 

Goodnight my love for I know you will be watching over me. Goodnight and sleep well tonight.

                         With Love,

                                       Betty Boop Dewdrop