It was the beginning of a new day and our lives were as busy as the day we moved in. Oliver had been working at his new job for a whole week. He was doing really well and working out everyday. I sometimes worried about him but I tried my best to keep it to myself.
Oliver was just getting done with working out and was looking at me with happiness. I was starting to feel sick and didn't know why. I had gotten myself check at the hospital to find out that I was pregnant. I took the test to prove that I was indeed pregnant. To my amazement I was. I had to tell Oliver as soon as I could.
Seagreen Rose was busy working on chess and so I let her do that for now. Oliver was walking by when I told him the big news. We were going to be parents for the first time. He was really happy and couldn't wait on what we were having. I didn't know if it was just one or more babies but for now, we were really excited.
He was in total shocked to find out that I was going to have a baby or babies. I told him many times that he was going to be a dad. That made him really excited and happy to know that.
I'm so excited to be a mother. I always wanted to have a family of my own and now it is happening. The feeling of pure joy and love. It only last for a short while. Oliver and I shocked to be parents. Seagreen Rose having a good time playing chess. You think that at this very moment, it would just be a great day. That nothing in the world would would change it. Sadly that wasn't the case but I wish it was.
Oliver was busy himself getting ready for work. I finally told my sister that I was going to have a baby or babies. She was just as shocked as Oliver was. I told her I was super happy to be a mom. However I was starting to get the morning sickness hard.
Oliver went off to work. Seagreen Rose and I decided that we would spend the time together. Oliver told me before he left that he was super excited to be a dad and couldn't wait to come home soon. I told him to have a good day at work and tell me all about it.
We were sitting on the couch for a while. We were watching a show together but my tummy was really bothering me. I felt like I was going to be sick.
This time around I wanted to make sure my sister knew I was pregnant. I guess I felt like I forgot to tell her before but she was happy either way.
She said, "She it is so great to hear you are going to be a mom. I am so happy and excited for you both. I always be here if you need me."
I said," Thanks sis. That really means a lot to me. Right now dealing with morning sickness is not fun. I hope that part will go away soon."
She did her best to tell me that everything would be fine. I wanted to believe her, I truly do.
I feel like my life is finally getting better. I know that I have been saying it a lot but life is so nice right now. I am going to be a mom and married to my best friend. I have my sister who is going to stay with me for a while because I didn't want her to live alone, plus deal with the cost of a house that would cost a lot of money.
Seagreen Rose has helped me a lot. We talked about what was going to happen and how things would work out. Since Rose wasn't going to be working, she agreed to help out with the kids. Since I will be working at my Business Office soon. I was excited to work as well but also take sometime taking care of my baby or babies soon.
Seagreen Rose and I gave each other hugs. Told each other that no matter what was about to happen, even for this very moment, that we would take the time to help each other out. I was happy and grateful to have my sister with me. She was there to make sure I was safe. Which I always was glad to have her doing that. I forget sometimes how lonely life would be without my sister. My sister felt the same way.
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Meanwhile Oliver came home from work, He had a good day at work. I think he got promoted but I wasn't sure. Either way, he seem to be in good spirits. He finished eating dinner and getting his needs taken care of.
While Rose and I were busy talking each other. Oliver to see that the kitchen needed some fixing. Everything seem to be breaking in the house.
Second later, we hard a loud sound like someone was in pain. I didn't know at the time but Oliver was being electrocuted after working hard on getting everything fixed in the kitchen. My sister and I rushed to see what was happening.
Second later, we came to see him laying on the floor. He wasn't moving, wasn't breathing and the sound....the sound of nothing. Before I could say anything, someone came to meet us. That person of course was the Grim Reaper. I knew it, I felt it, my life was gone.
I stood there not sure what to say, or what to think. I couldn't even speak. Everything was happening so fast. The night was now over and the early morning song birds singing. It wasn't a happy morning. It was a sad morning.
I still looked at him, his lifeless body. I could say I won't get that picture out of my mind. Nightmares of him, NIGHTMARES of the one I loved. I felt sad and lost without him. Just standing there, doing nothing but feeling sadness.
This was the end of it all, I just stand there thinking about everything we were to have to gain but now it seem everything is gone. The house itself was a mess and all I felt was wanting to throw up. The morning sickness was the worse and now I have no one to love anymore.
After that, my life will be empty and nothing my sister can say and do will change that. Since that very morning, my heart was black as ice. I feel like I have changed since that very moment and that is the way it going to be.
Grim Reaper left after making sure my husband soul was place in his grave stone. I still couldn't get him out of my mind.
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After my husband died, I was greeted by a man named Travis Scott. He was a very nice man and started to get to know him a little better. It may seem like I was rushing into another relationship but I wasn't. He seem like a nice guy to know.
A little flirting won't hurt anyone, plus it came to the moment where I didn't care anymore. I was alone with my sister having a baby or babies, while my husband is now gone in my life. I don't every think I will find true love. Though it didn't hurt to try finding a fling once in a while.
Seagreen Rose was doing her best since the two months that Oliver was gone, was hard on her. She started to make a new friend and had a wonderful chatted to him. I was happy for sister at that moment in time to find someone she could talk too.
Travis and I started to talk about things. I told him how I was dealing with not having my husband anymore. He was very sad and sorry to hear that. We started to be good friends.
I thanked him for being so caring and sweet. I wanted to slowly get to know him better. Even though it was wrong, I know that I would fall for someone. I wasn't really falling for anyone but wanted to just mess around with someone else.
We gave each other hugs. He wanted to stay but had to do something else. I thanked him very much for coming over and hope to hang out with him sometime. He told me that he would try his best.
After he left, I was still feeling worse about stuff. I know I didn't let my heart heal but I didn't really want it to heal. I wanted to be broken and feeling nothing. It was hard and confusing. I know that there will be moments in my life where I wish I wasn't here but I can't think of that now. I have a baby or babies that will be coming soon.
I was feeling depress by the day, I started to work on paintings and called the Sadness hotline that was there when you truly needed them. I told them questions and asked for advice on what to do. They told me many times that it was fine to feel crappy and that things would get better. I wanted to believe them but I wasn't really sure that was the case for me.
The next day was the same, called in the sadness hotline to ask for more advice to figure out what to do with my life. Seagreen Rose would do her best to help me feel better but I was still feeling sad. Not sure if life was worth living from time to time but I kept them away. I wasn't going to die nor let my baby or babies not have a mother. I won't do that to my baby bump.
Rose like me decided to work on paintings. She too was upset about the fact that he was gone. We didn't know what to say or do. We would just cry and feel crappy for a while. We didn't want to make things worse for each other. We decided to not talk to each other for while. I didn't feel like saying much.
Rose was really great at what she was doing. She took her time working on her paints and than she would either keep the ones she liked or sell them. She felt a little better but it still wasn't the same.
Rose would find away to make me feel better. We started to talk about stuff and she seem to know how to make me feel. We talked a little bit. I would ask her advice on what to do and she would tell me to either write about my feelings or paint to slowly get better.
It seem to help for a short while but than I would start feeling crappy again. I called the sadness hotline again. Which they seem to understand how hard it was for me. I felt bad calling them all the time but it was the only way I felt better. I didn't want to keep asking Rose about it because I didn't want to upset her anymore about it.
Why world did you have to take my love away? Why? I don't understand it. Why do I feel so bad? I want to just end my pregnancy and just die in a corner somewhere but I can't. I won't but still my heart hurts bad. So bad that sometimes I don't want to feel it anymore.
I decided to talk to Travis for a little bit. See how he was doing. He was telling me that he was doing alright and talked to me about different things. It seem to help me feel better but still didn't feel all the greatest but it was a start.
I took a nap to feel better. I didn't know what else to say, my sister and I kept ourselves busy with painting. I just wanted to get better and over things.
I had a late dinner, eating salad and thinking about things. The kitchen wasn't the same anymore. i hated going in there. I just wanted to run away. I felt like the change of the kitchen would be nice but even that I wasn't sure of. Right now, just wanted to be alone.
I called Travis again just to keep myself from crying but soon after I finished talking to him, I cried. Oliver you will be missed. I love you so very much. I wish that you didn't leave me because I want you with me forever. I don't know what else to say or do.
I know this day forward, my life will never be the same. I will push harder and work better but my love life won't be. I decided that I will flirt with whoever and be with whoever because in the end of it all, it doesn't matter about my happiness because my love is gone. I am gone and this is the end of it all.
Starting tomorrow, my life will be nothing more than work and trying my very best to help out with my baby or babies.
